16. change my hair color.

so it's like this. I've been blonde by birth or bottle for 99% of my life. i've tied up a major portion of my identity and self-worth in being the petite blue-eyed blonde. it allowed me to get away with being a little too flirty, then deliver the kicker by actually being more intelligent than my hair color would lead you to believe.

i thought i was only pretty if i was blonde. but, as the last several years have taught me, i don't have to live up to anyone else's expectations of me. people will still like or love me (or not) if i change. and so i did. last fall, i went the closest to my natural color than i have ever been. it surprised a lot of people, mostly myself.

and as it turns out, i really hated it, despite having a fabulous colorist who did wonders with brunette. but the world didn't come to an end. i got compliments on it, although some of them begrudgingly. a lot more people than i realized thought i was still a "real" blonde (by the way, i really am blonde. i paid for it and everything).

i learned that i like change. that i don't have to do the expected and safe. and so today, despite it being a good month and a half before the big four zero, the hair is changing again. last time the long-suffering (ten years plus) friend who does my hair went a little brighter blonde and a few coppery highlights.

not enough of a change and really only visible in direct light. if i'm coming home a redhead (as i'm completely certain my husband would fully enjoy),there's no room for subtlety. go big or go home.